When to fight to save a toxic relationship?


I am often asked by clients if it is worth fighting to save a relationship if they feel it is toxic. However, sometimes we completely forget what the manifestations of a toxic relationship are and that not every relationship is like that. We have learned to put "stickers" on things and events in our lives, so that it is easier for us to deal with them and, at the same time, in the context of relationships, it is easier to leave them.

So let's try to define what a toxic relationship is, since we won't find such a name in a psychology textbook. A toxic relationship is a type of relationship that is not healthy and negatively affects at least one person involved. This type of relationship is often characterized by emotional blackmail, manipulation, physical, sexual or psychological violence, and constant criticism and control by one or both partners.

Toxic relationships are often characterized by constant conflict, lack of trust, dependence, mutual blame and inability to communicate. Feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment and many times fear and anxiety often appear in such a relationship. A toxic relationship can be emotionally draining and can have a negative impact on an individual's overall health and well-being.

What are the signs of toxicity in a relationship?

There are several signs that can signal that a relationship is toxic:

  1. Not listening and ignoring the needs and feelings of the other person.
  2. Dominance and control over the partner, trying to influence his/her decisions.
  3. Manipulation and blackmail, threats and violence (including psychological).
  4. Lack of respect and trust, lies and deception.
  5. Showing negative emotional reactions such as anger, insecurity, suspicion, jealousy and hostility.
  6. Requiring constant attention and confirmation from a partner, inability to be with oneself.
  7. Difficulty with communication and conflict resolution, repetition of the same arguments and problems.

If these signs occur in a relationship and it is not possible to work with them adequately, it is likely that the relationship is toxic and can have a negative effect on the psychological and physical health of individuals. It is important to seek help and support from a psychologist, relationship therapist or mental health professional.

So fight to save a toxic relationship?

It can be very tricky and not always the best choice. In general, we should strive for a relationship that brings us more positives than negatives. However, if it is a toxic relationship that makes us feel unhappy and is causing permanent psychological or physical damage, ending the relationship may be the best option.

Toxic relationships can be caused by a variety of factors, such as unhealthy communication patterns, low self-esteem, unresolved emotional issues, or even mental illness. If you want to save a toxic relationship, you need to start by being aware of the problems in the relationship and having the desire to work on solving them.

However, in some cases, it may be possible to salvage a toxic relationship if both parties are willing to work on the issues. If you want to try to save the relationship, you should communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your concerns and problems and work together to find a solution. Alternatively, you might consider relationship therapy and seeing a therapist or coach to help you deal with relationship issues.

Be aware that salvaging a toxic relationship can be difficult and often requires a lot of work and effort from both parties. However, if you feel that it is worth trying to save the relationship, do not give up and continue the effort together. If you decide to end the relationship, it is important to find support from close people or a professional.

PhDr. Ivana Čergeťová, PhD., LL.M., MBA, PCIC

I am a psychologist, NLP coach, attachment-based therapist, career counselor, and academic staff. I have been dedicated to the attachment theory in personal and work settings for over 20 years. I work on this topic not only as a counselor but also as a researcher. Meeting with me can help you if you are seeking an expert in mental health specializing in relationships, communication, and personal development. For more information, follow my social networks @radipsychologicka #attachment #relationships #love #attachment #JoinMeForAdvice #relationshiptherapist #development